Have you experienced a family cemetery visit? It wasn’t until recently that I was considering the benefits of visiting cemeteries as a family. I hadn’t been to visit a cemetery outside of a graveside service for a while. But let me share an experience that changed that, and my perspective on cemetery visits and gravestone photography.
I was on my way home after dropping off my daughter at a state park for the weekend – she was attending a week-long summer camp with other kids her age in our local church area. That’s when I saw it. My daughter wouldn’t see what I saw, and she wouldn’t experience the flashback I had. Like you, she got a retelling.
It was a beautiful day, and I was reflecting on how my daughter would be moving out soon and spreading her wings. While I was in this reflective state and lost in thought (don’t worry, I was focused on driving, too!) I saw it. A cemetery. It wasn’t big, but it looked old. Old enough to have things built around it, so it looked a little out of place. The gravestones were all different, and they weren’t all sitting straight anymore. The weather had eroded some of their beauty, probably making gravestone photography difficult, and time had aged them. Had it been late at night, it would have had a haunted cemetery vibe.
It’s that vibe that pulled me in, and suddenly I was back in my younger years, almost my daughter’s age. My friends and I were near a city cemetery. It was dark, and we were in need of an adventure. We ignored the “closed” signs and started walking around the cemetery, reading the names on the gravestones. Settling on a patch of grass, we started to do the best thing to do in a dark cemetery: we told scary stories.
I’ll stop that cemetery flashback there, leaving out the part about police officers patrolling the cemetery (trying to find people like us) and how we snuck behind tall gravestones and ran fast so we wouldn’t get caught. But I do want to mention how my perspective on the benefits of visiting cemeteries has changed since that time.
Before that night, I’d only known cemeteries as places for family traditions. Our family visits to the cemetery would usually happen around holidays or near the relative’s birthday. Maybe you have loved ones you visit at the cemetery, too? But this experience was like something from a movie. It was missing the feelings of peace and respect that those traditions instilled. After my flashback to this rebellious moment in my life, I realized that I preferred the cemetery experience as a child, when it was peaceful with my family, over this adventurous and adrenaline-pumping experience with my friends.
I realized that I needed to help people know the importance of visiting the cemetery with their families. Not just the importance of visiting relatives buried there, but to experience much more. In my family history classes, I learned that gravestones can help families immensely with genealogical work. They can provide clues, or answers, to family history questions like who someone’s spouse is, when someone died, where they lived, and more.
Why Make a Family Cemetery Visit?
I’ve learned that going to the cemetery as a family offers so much more than flowers and memories. It’s a living lesson in history, connection, and creativity.
1. Gravestones Are Family History Clues
Each tombstone is a story, a genealogy treasure trove. I am currently taking family history classes through BYU Pathway, and I’ve found that gravestones can help to confirm relationships and spark new branches on a family tree. One of the many benefits of visiting cemeteries is that they’re an outdoor archive, full of real, tangible history.
2. It Builds a Shared Family Tradition
Routine visits, on birthdays, Memorial Day, or other holidays, become meaningful family rituals. I came not just to visit the cemetery but to enjoy it. I loved sitting on the grass and reflecting on the memories of those whose graves we were visiting. My grandmother is buried by my grandfather and two of my uncles, one of whom passed away while I was young. When visiting their graves, I would use blades of grass to spell their names. I’m not sure why, but somehow that simple activity made me feel closer to them. The tradition of our visits also helped me learn respect and reverence as my parents taught me cemetery etiquette. The simple tradition of visiting the cemetery becomes a moment of bonding, storytelling, and mindfulness.
3. Gravestone Photography Helps Genealogy—and Connection
I’ll admit I am still pretty new to using apps like FindAGrave or BillionGraves. My kids are much better at that than I am. With apps like those, you can take photos of headstones and preserve and share genealogical data or family history. Helping others trace their ancestry or discovering a distant cousin through your photo brings a feeling of contribution or satisfaction to your cemetery visit. That’s the heart of gravestone photography: sharing, exploring, and documenting. When we pass cemeteries that I think look intriguing, randomly located, small, or out in the middle-of-nowhere, I am likely to ask my teenagers to check those apps to see if they have been done. It often surprises me how many cemeteries around me have been documented, at least in part.
Gravestone photography through apps like FindAGrave or BillionGraves also makes for a great church, youth, neighborhood, or family reunion activity. Just a thought.
4. Cemeteries Foster Reflection and Mindfulness
Walking among tombstones invites calm reflection and awareness, benefits similar to meditation or sitting by the ocean. The quiet surroundings and gentle rhythm of walking between headstones create an atmosphere of peace. I don’t remember the exact gravestones, but I do remember how they made me feel. Reading the inscriptions, it was clear these individuals had been deeply loved. Those simple words carved in stone made me pause and reflect on my own life. Reading names, dates, and inscriptions encourages thoughtful questions about life, family, and legacy.
For children and adults alike, a family cemetery visit can become a rare moment of stillness, free from distractions, where deeper thoughts and conversations unfold naturally. It’s not just about mourning; it’s about remembering, appreciating, and reflecting.
5. You Might Discover Someone in Your Family Tree
This hasn’t personally happened to me, at least not yet, but I think it would be amazing if it did. Can you imagine how unforgettable it would be to find an unexpected name, an ancestor you never knew was buried nearby, maybe a soldier’s name you hadn’t come across in records? A family cemetery visit can unlock a new family mystery to explore together.
Make Cemeteries Part of Your Family’s Story
Why not plan your next family cemetery visit this weekend? Bring a camera, journal, and maybe a picnic blanket. Take a photo with FindAGrave. Read a tombstone together and share its story over dinner. Write about your experience in your family journal. You can even take a picture of your family there to add to your photography collection to document all the cemeteries your family has visited.
Ready to Visit a Cemetery with Your Family?
Whether you’re honoring a loved one, practicing your gravestone photography skills, or simply taking a quiet walk through history, your next family cemetery visit can be a meaningful experience.
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