I used to think family history meant learning names, dates, and places. And while those things matter, knowing about someone is not the same as feeling connected to them.
It wasn’t until I started slowing down and actually spending time with the stories, the places, and the small details of my ancestors’ lives that something changed.
It became personal. Let me tell you what that actually looked like for me.
I have a great-great-grandmother named Diantha. I took a few minutes to read some of the memories attached to her profile on FamilySearch.org. I was surprised by how much I could relate to parts of her life. But even more, I saw all that she had to experience and how she continued in strength and faith despite the hardships she endured. I noticed that those hardships seemed to make her stronger and more faithful. That really stood out to me because I sometimes wonder whether I am being changed for the better through the faith I exercise in my own trials. My great-great-Grandma Diantha isn’t here to tell me how she endured or to tell me I can make it through, but as I read her stories, I feel her reminding me that I can. If you want to start exploring your own ancestors’ stories, FamilySearch makes it easier than you might think
My children have experienced similar connections with their own ancestors. In quiet moments spent learning about them, they have begun to see pieces of themselves in their ancestors’ experiences, struggles, interests, and even personalities. One of my favorite things is when they come to tell me about a story they have discovered. Sometimes we talk about what that ancestor’s experience might mean for their own life and the connections they can draw from it. Other times, they surprise me by pointing out connections they have noticed all on their own.
Family history wasn’t charts. It wasn’t just history anymore. It was connection. And that connection has changed the way we see our family, our home, and even ourselves.
Our family started Roots & Handmade Tales knowing family history is a journey for everyone. First, we discover our ancestors. Then we come to know them and learn from their lives. Finally, we help our families experience their stories, values, traditions, and legacy together. This page is about that second step—moving beyond names and dates to build meaningful connections with the people who came before us.
What Ancestral Connection Really Means
Ancestral connection is just that—a connection with your ancestors. It means forming a meaningful relationship with the people who came before you, learning from their lives, and allowing that relationship to influence how you see yourself, your family, and your life today.
Knowing that I have a great-great-grandmother who was born in 1873, lived in Utah, and had thirteen children is family history information. Learning that she lost several children, that she and her family had to quarantine because of smallpox, that people remembered her as a caring woman, or that she shared some of the same hopes I do—that is ancestral connection.
Ancestral connection happens when you begin to see your ancestors as real people. You recognize parts of yourself in them. Their experiences start to give context, perspective, encouragement, or understanding to your own life.
It can look like:
- Reading a memory attached to an ancestor’s profile and realizing you would have enjoyed talking with them.
- Seeing a photograph and noticing that your daughter has the same smile as her great-grandmother.
- Cooking a recipe that has been passed through several generations and remembering the people who made it before you.
- Visiting a cemetery and realizing the people buried there were not just names, but parents, children, siblings, and friends.
- Looking through old letters and hearing an ancestor’s personality come through their words.
- Holding a handmade quilt, tool, recipe book, or toy and thinking about the hands that used it before yours.
- Continuing a family tradition because it reminds you of the people who came before you.
- Preserving stories and memories so future generations can feel connected too.
For me, ancestral connection often looks like recognizing something familiar in my own life. It can also look like recognizing something familiar in my parents and grandparents. For example, when learning about my Great-Great-Grandmother Diantha, I saw so many similar things in my grandmother and my dad. To see those similar things passed down gives me hope for who I can become.
Moments like that create a sense of belonging that is hard to describe.
Why Connection Matters More Than Information
I think the answer lies in what information can and cannot do. Information can tell you who someone was. Connection helps you understand why they matter.
A name, birth date, and death date can tell you that a person existed. A census record can tell you where they lived. A marriage record can tell you who they married. Those things are important because they help us identify our ancestors and place them in history.
But information alone rarely changes us.
Connection does.
We cannot have a conversation with our ancestors, but we can still learn from the lives they lived and the stories they left behind. When we truly know our ancestors, we begin carrying pieces of their faith, resilience, wisdom, and traditions into our own lives.
When you learn that an ancestor crossed a continent, buried a child (or two or three), started over after failure, cared for aging parents, sacrificed for their family, or remained faithful during difficult circumstances, you begin to see them as a real person rather than a historical fact. Their experiences become meaningful because they speak to experiences we face ourselves.
Connection matters because it helps us:
- Feel rooted in something larger than ourselves.
- Understand where our family traditions, values, and stories came from.
- Gain perspective during our own challenges.
- Develop empathy for those who came before us.
- Strengthen family identity and belonging.
- Preserve memories that might otherwise be lost.
- See ourselves as part of an ongoing story rather than an isolated individual.
For children especially, connection often matters more than information because they rarely care that an ancestor was born in 1847. Sometimes that information can’t be understood yet. But they care that an ancestor loved horses, got into trouble, built things with his hands, or moved across the country when he was their age. Those details help them relate.
In a way, information is the doorway, but connection is the reason we walk through it.
I enjoy walking through that doorway with my children. I love learning beside them and helping them make those connections. If we wait until our children are old enough to do all the reading themselves, or spend years hoping they will suddenly develop an interest in family history, many meaningful opportunities for connection may pass by.
Simple Ways to Start Building Connection
Building ancestral connection does not require hours of research or extensive genealogy experience. For me, I like to open up my family tree in FamilySearch.org. Then I choose a relative that stands out to me in that moment. I click on them and see what I can learn about them. I look at their details, memories, and sources. I also click on the ‘ordinances’ tab and enjoy seeing if they need their temple work done, if they were able to do it themselves, or if it was done via proxy.
Another way I start building connection personally is by asking my parents questions about relatives they have memories of. They feel so real when my parents can place them in their lives with specific memories. You could ask questions to your parents, siblings, aunts and uncles, etc.
I have also loved reading my grandmother’s journals, reading biographies and autobiographies that have been written about and by my ancestors. It also gives me a greater desire to write in my own journal so my posterity can feel that ancestral connection with me.
Building ancestral connection often begins with curiosity. It starts by taking time to learn about a person, listen to a story, or read a memory. Those small moments can become the foundation for a much deeper connection.
Once connection begins to grow, it doesn’t have to stay a personal experience.
Making Connection Part of Family Life
Some of the most meaningful connections happen through simple conversations and everyday experiences.
When it comes to my children, one of my favorite things to do is set aside time to share stories with them. I tell them about the ancestors I am learning about, and they share the stories and discoveries that stand out to them. Recently, we have even started incorporating family history into our homeschool history and geography lessons. Learning about an ancestor’s life often helps children better understand the historical events, challenges, and experiences that shaped them.
But ancestral connection does not have to happen during school time.
Sometimes it looks like:
• Sharing an ancestor story at the dinner table
• Looking through old photographs together
• Cooking a family recipe
• Talking about family traditions and where they came from
• Visiting a cemetery as a family
• Exploring the story behind a family heirloom
• Reading letters, journals, or memories left by relatives
• Learning a handmade skill an ancestor may have practiced
• Visiting a place connected to your family’s history
• Comparing your own experiences to those of an ancestor
• Asking older relatives to share memories and stories
• Creating opportunities for children to discover and share their own connections
None of these activities require becoming an expert genealogist. They simply create opportunities for conversations, stories, and shared experiences.
They also remind us that ancestral connection is not meant to stay in the past. As we share stories, cook family recipes, practice traditional skills, preserve memories, and continue meaningful traditions, our ancestors become part of our family’s present as well as its past.
The goal is not to create another project or item on your to-do list. The goal is to make family history a natural part of family life. As children hear stories, ask questions, and discover similarities between themselves and their ancestors, connection begins to grow. Over time, those small moments help them see that their ancestors are not simply names on a chart, but real people whose lives still have something to teach them today.
If you’re looking for more structured ideas, there are simple family history activities designed specifically for children of all ages.
Connecting Through Places and Experiences
Sometimes connection deepens when you step into a place connected to your family’s story. Reading about an ancestor can help you learn about them, but seeing the places where they lived, worked, worshipped, traveled, or were buried can make their experiences feel more real.
That might look like:
- Visiting a cemetery where family members are buried
- Walking through a town where an ancestor once lived
- Seeing a family homestead or property
- Visiting a church, school, or workplace connected to their life
- Exploring a museum or historical site that helps tell their story
Even if you cannot visit those places in person, you can still:
- Explore historical and modern maps
- View photographs of the area
- Learn about the climate, geography, and environment they lived in
- Study the local history of their community
- Take virtual tours or use online tools to explore locations
When we begin to see the world our ancestors lived in, their experiences often become easier to understand. The challenges they faced, the distances they traveled, and the choices they made start to feel more tangible. Place provides context, and that context can help transform information into connection.
Those experiences often inspire us to bring pieces of our ancestors’ lives home with us, whether through a story we retell, a tradition we revive, or a skill we decide to learn together.
A Simple Way to Begin Today
If all of this feels overwhelming, start small.
Choose one ancestor. Read one story, memory, journal entry, or source connected to their life. Then spend a few minutes thinking about what stood out to you.
Ask yourself:
- What challenges did this person face?
- What strengths do I see in them?
- Is there anything about their life that reminds me of myself or someone in my family?
- What can I learn from their experiences?
Then talk about that story with someone else. Share it with a spouse, a parent, a sibling, a friend, or a child.
You do not need to know everything about your ancestors to feel connected to them. Often, connection begins with a single story and a willingness to pay attention.
Start with one person. One story. One conversation.
That is enough.
Where to Go Next
As you come to know your ancestors, you’ll often want to learn even more about them and find ways to share what you’ve discovered with the people you love.
If you’re ready for the next step, explore these areas of Roots & Handmade Tales:
Family History → Discover more records, stories, photographs, and memories that help you uncover the lives of your ancestors.
Family Engagement → Find activities, conversation starters, recipes, traditions, crafts, games, and shared experiences that help your family live and remember the legacy of those who came before you.